10 Steps to a Life Goals Refresh and Reset
(new year goals and how to actually stick to them!)
Imagine yourself at the end of next year. How would you like your life to be different?
- If you want this year to be very different to last.
While it’s okay to review and reflect and want to make change, it’s not okay to be mean to yourself. Be mindful of how you speak to and about yourself — let your inner voice speak to you as a kind and caring friend would. - Want to take a career risk in 2020, start your own business or return to study?
Don’t go it alone, gather your support crew around you. This could include a personal coach like myself, supportive colleagues and trusted mentors. Be clear on your end goal, keep focused on why you are taking the action you are.
‘Study will enable me to get a promotion’ or ‘launching this business will help me deliver my idea to the world.’
Write a list of reasons you believe it is the right path or change for you. This list makes an easy reference to refer back to when the going gets tough.
3. Can you become more innovative where you are right now to get what you want?
Consider if the outcome you want can be achieved with an alternative action. Will your workplace support you to go part-time while you study? Do you need to start a business, or can you change roles at your current job? Can you sell your product or service via an existing platform?
4. Think about your goals in categories.
Health, wealth, relationships, work etc and consider only setting goals for 2–3 of these. This helps avoid overwhelm. Trying to make too many changes at once means you are likely to set yourself up to ‘fail’.
It’s okay to edit your goals as the year goes on. As you start to take action to get closer to what you want, tune in and listen to your inner voice that guides you to opportunity.
5. Feeling ‘stuck’ and in need of a dramatic life change?
Wherever you are in the world you are ultimately the same person inside. So the same old problems from your past and repetitive behaviours will keep surfacing until you deal with them.
A Coach can help you set goals for your future, but a Counsellor or Psychologist is the best place to start if you are struggling with your past.
If you believe that a big life change is still the best course of action then get on and do it! Don’t ‘announce’ it on social, don’t put that pressure on yourself. Simply decide what action you’d like to take and put steps and a plan in place to get there. Be excited by your own future!
Consider a trial of the dramatic change. You could negotiate a remote working arrangement for three months to allow you to live in a different location, you could take extended unpaid leave, you could go minimalist and completely change your lifestyle.
A Coach can help you come up with fresh ideas of how to approach changes differently.
6. Unsure of your relationship?
Focus on yourself first. It isn’t anyone’s job to change to suit you. But when people show you who they really are through their words and behaviour — believe them.
If you can consistently focus on being the best version of you, then suddenly other people tend to lift their game around you to try and keep up!
Positive energy and negative energy are both catching. Be the person in the relationship who brings the good energy. Give the other person time to step up. You’ll either see change, or you’ll know you’re tapping out. As Mark Manson says it’s a “F*ck Yes” or a No!” (a great read: https://markmanson.net/relationship-advice)
7. Want to better nurture your friendships?
Then accept that friendships change as we age. Be kind to your friends that have different responsibilities to the ones you do — your life could change sooner than you think.
Pick up the phone and call from time to time. Text is great, but a conversation has a depth and range that text will simply never achieve.
But if a friendship is no longer working you don’t necessarily need to make a big deal of it. You can just let it fade away. You may return to each other with a fresh perspective when your lives align again.
8. Looking to improve your health?
Manage your sleep. Sleep affects so many physical and mental processes and well-being. Monitor your sleep hygiene. Treat yourself to cotton sheets, silence your phone, sleep in a room that is dark, cool and quiet. Use earplugs and eye mask if necessary.
Exercise regularly without the need for extreme. Some people love to train hard and that’s great for them. But regular simple exercise, walking, running, gym classes etc are plenty for most of us to fit in. Start with just two sessions a week booked into your diary as a priority and build from there. No beating yourself up, just kindness to yourself and focusing on having a strong, healthy body to live in.
9. Read more books.
Stories provide an escape, or they can educate. When you are reading a book your mind is focused on just that. It can help with anxiety to focus on a story and quiet a buzzing brain. Aim to read every day, it’s especially effective to help with winding down after another busy day.
10. Get support.
Speak to a good friend, your doctor or a counselling professional if things feel hopeless and you can’t shift your mind to the positive, exciting things the new year could bring. Lifeline in Australia is available on 13 11 14.
Remember that you are in control of your own thoughts, feelings and actions, you cannot control what others think about you. In fact, it’s none of your business!
Everyone is on their own journey so be kind. Focusing on creating a different future is like a growing muscle, it takes commitment, practice and focus.
